Night bus conversations

I was on a night bus last night and, finding myself in the unusual position of not being asleep, proceeded to earwig on the various conversations around me (it wasn't difficult because pssed people do talk loudly). My favourite two conversations (more like monologues) were:

Bloke (wearing Ali G sunnies, a Jay Kay hat and generally looking like someone in the music business): "Yeah, they sound really good, like, they could be as good as Metallica. If the singer was better and they could get the rhythm right, that is. That singer though, he sounds like Evan Dando out of Soundgarden or Dave Grohl out of the Foo Fighters. He used to be a drummer you know, in a band, who was it, it'll come to me..... No, can't remember, but I know they were quite big - not in the same league as the Foo Fighters though."

Girl (quite well spoken, probably just started her first term at university): "I feel very proud to be a vegetarian, because, like, you know, if all the cereal crops in the world were shared out equally, there would be enough for 3,000 calories each and we only need about, like, 2,200 each."

If only life were so simple.

I shall be keeping my mouth firmly shut on the bus from now on.