Etiquette - what would Michael Winner say to this?

Is it acceptable to discuss medical problems, at great length, in graphic detail, over dinner in a restaurant within earshot of other diners? I will set the scene. The venue is a small, fairly up–market, sushi restaurant. The decor is unsurprisingly in Oriental style — think Coco Chanel suite at the Paris Ritz, as interpreted by IKEA — with little tables set close together. I am having dinner with my girlfriend at a table for two.

Two women arrive and are sat at the adjacent table, which is about the length of John Holmes’ cock away from ours. One is American, one British. Contrary to stereotype, the Seppo is quiet and prim, the Limey loud and overweight, doing the vast majority of the talking. The conversation turns to how she has been unwell. Fine, sorry to hear that. But I am incredulous, to the extent of having a discreet glance around for Jeremy Beadle, when it develops into a ten minute, symptom–by–symptom chronology of this woman’s descent to the very the brink of death and subsequent phoenix–like rise from the hospital bed.

Now it sounds like this woman has had a terrible time, and she has my full sympathy, but when one is trying to enjoy one’s miso soup it is extremely off–putting to have to hear sentences such as (I kid you not) “but by then the abscess had burst and moved from my gut down into my rectum, which is what caused the septicaemia…” bellowed out a mere couple of chopstick–lengths away. For some reason we didn’t fancy dessert. She was still going strong as we paid and left.

Now I know people sometimes say in relation to adversity “you’ll be dining out on that story for years” but there must be limits, particularly in places like this, which aim for a quiet, discrete sort of ambience. Kind of ruins the cultured experience. A proper Japanese response would probably have been to finish what the abscess had started and chop off this woman’s head with a samurai sword before committing ceremonial sepukku in outrage. Instead, I did the British thing and left, muttering “really rather crass, to say the least”. I guess that having lived with illness can make people somewhat less concerned about other people’s sensibilities when telling their story and I sympathise with anyone who has had to suffer in the way that it sounds like this woman has suffered, but is there still a time and a place for the concept of a time and place?