My devious plan to get off that parking ticket I got the other day turned out to be a non–starter. I applied to the Land Registry for the filed plan on the title of the building adjacent to which I had parked, in an attempt to prove that my bike was parked on private land and not “with one or more wheels on part of an urban road other than a carriageway.” Unfortunately, the filed plan, which arrived today, conclusively proves the contrary. I guess I’ll have to pay up, extremely galling though that is, given that my bike was parked thoughtfully and carefully so as not to obstruct anyone. Traffic wardens. What arseholes.