I prefer it, actually

I’ve noticed an annoying trend in customer service phone lines lately (Easyjet, Orange, NTL and no doubt many others). Before you even get to press the buttons to select where you would like to sit on hold for 90 minutes, you now get something like “We are currently experiencing a high volume of calls. Answers to our most frequently asked questions and all the information about our whatever service is on our award–winning website at www.whatever.com. If you would nevertheless prefer to speak to somebody, please select from one of the following options”.

Piss off. Contrary to your patronising assumption, I am not calling because I am stupid, unable to read, or incapable of operating a computer or navigating your (admittedly often unhelpful and counter–intuitive) website. I would not “prefer” to speak to someone. I would “prefer” that you had just done what you were supposed to have done in the first place, meaning that I did not have to waste my time and raise my blood pressure in attempting to contact you at all. Waiting on hold to speak to someone who will most likely take the opportunity to demonstrate both their sense of superiority and total stupidity, without actually resolving my problem, is in fact just about the last thing I would “prefer” to do. I am calling this number with a heavy heart after exhausting all other possible options, having perused every page of your website, sent a number of emails to you, scoured the internet for self–help suggestions and asked everyone I know whether or not their flight, mobile, broadband supplier is any better, all with negative results.

Labels: customer service