Is there any scope for apologising to Iran to get them to release our troops and then when they release them, say “ha ha, we were lying, it was obviously just a trick to get you to release our troops, we don’t really apologise for anything, and what’s more, you suck”?

Also, what’s with all these televised “confession” presentations, complete with charts, etc? Is name; rank; number and “Sir, I cannot answer that question” no longer the form? (Not that I’d fancy being in their position and not that I wouldn’t consider saying anything I was told if I thought it could save me from a stoning — here’s hoping it gets sorted and they’re soon back in Portsmouth safe and well).

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