What lousy weather.

New copyright notice.

Weddings and Droitwich

I went to a wedding at the weekend. Very nice affair it was too, what with speeches, wine, cheesy DJ and a snooker room, the reception had everything. The service itself was excellent too, except for two things. First, I am not sure that it was quite appropriate for the vicar to leave quite such a large pause slap bang in the middle of the phrase "Guy, will you take Rachel's ring and put in on her finger" - certainly not when your congregation is comprised of mainly schoolboys in their late twenties. Second, and at the risk of causing offence to anyone from the Midlands, I'd just like to point out that the accent doesn't exactly add gravitas to an occasion. The preacher was, despite being a methodist, very good, mixing humour and solemnity in a manner which leaves most men of the cloth (Ben King excepted) standing. Unfortunately, his sermon on the value of learning to forgive and accept that your partner is not as perfect as you perhaps first thought lost something when delivered in a voice that came from somewhere between Ozzy Osborne and Gary Lineker. "And oi 'owpe ewe'll be verry 'appy togevver for the rest of yower dayze". People of Leicester, bear this in mind when choosing a career.

Noticed another site which is linking to the converter — this time from France — Ecole Fours, with the comment “un précieux convertisseur caractères–entités numériques sur le site foXinternet”. Very nice of you to say so, Ecole Fours! This adds to, as far as I know:

Perceive Designs
Webblogg.ent
GCI 725
The communist squirrel
Caustic sense
TEFCA
Roland Tanglao
Dionidium.com
Jimformation
Phil Oye And of course the reason why anyone noticed it in the first place — Zeldman. Ain't that cool?

Hotmail sucks II

I recently sent this email to all my contacts who email me at hotmail: “My hotmail account is now being spammed beyond all toleration.

I get some 30 messages per DAY, offering me, inter alia, opportunities to:

a) consolidate my debts into one single payment; b) procure a financial miracle by working from home; c) increase the size of my penis by 3 inches with one simple pill; d) see Candi on her new webcam naked; e) become an ordained minister of the church for $29.95, and quite frankly it is now getting silly. I resolved that once I went one full week without getting one single message from anyone I actually knew, I would call it quits and start again with a new address.

So, this message is going to everyone in my address book. I'm going to let the hotmail account die. If you want to get in touch with me in the future, I'd appreciate it if you would please write to *******@***.***. If you've forgotten who I am and can't think of any reason why you'd conceivably want to get in touch with me, apologies for the unsolicited mail.

Cheers,

The Very Reverend Tucola” So, if you know me, don't write to me at hotmail anymore. You should have an alternative address. If you don't know me, you can contact me this way.

Thought for the day

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving is probably not your thing.

Cool, I just found a transcript of the article by Brian Clough that appeared in the Sun last summer but was cruelly taken down and not archived by that esteemed journal.

Beware of pale imitations!

Have you guys seen the article in The Lawyer about a kind of reverse marketing campaign by this firm of Colorado lawyers? Story looks like it's been pretty much nicked from the Washington Post, but it must be a piss-take..?

Check this out, dudes! Star Wars condensed into 5 minutes of nicely animated Flash graphics (note to self - learn how to use Flash)...

Warning

Do not expect any sensible postings from the great Tucola today. He was apparently at a "meeting" yesterday with work people, or at least thats what he told his loving girlfriend . Now, I'm not calling my mate a liar, but from the state of him last night I can only guess at who else was at the meeting.... That said, my deepest sympathies go out to the bearded boozehound, and I hope he feels better soon. (ps I have Vodka, Kahlua, Milk (full-cream) and Ice if anyone fancies a beverage this weekend. I also have a bottle of Havana Club....)

Responsibility Sucks

Now that I am two years qualified I seem to be entrusted with giving advice on my own, and sole responsibility for deals. For example, I was in Milan last week (ker-lang), and lots of very important people were listening to what I was saying, and structuring some multi-million dollar transaction on the basis of my advice. Dicks. Some people would welcome this, as many people enjoy the thrill of greater responsibility, but not me mister. Loads of trainees whinge when they aren't given enough responsibility. Idiots. My happiest time at work was when I was in Singapore doing crap trainee work with no deadlines. Stroll into the office at 10am, 2hours of proofreading, long lunch, bit more proof-reading, then out of the office by 6 to hit the Buzz Bar for a few slippery nipples. Stress free life, being paid loadsamoney to do the job of a monkey. Brilliant. I'm thinking of asking the head of the department if I can be an first seat trainee (preferably overseas) again.

New cast list added so you can see who all the people posting are. If you are not already one of those people. Which you almost certainly are...

Amstrad's shock entry in Console entertainment battle It had been widely assumed that the next generation entertainment console war would be a two-horse race between Sony and Microsoft, traditional industry leaders Sega and Nintendo having comprehensively failed to come up with anything remotely interesting. Foxinternet's motoring and cool gadget correspondent can now reveal a shock British challenger in the battle which has been raging between the American and Japanese giants. Yes, Amstrad has brought out a new version of the ZX Spectrum. Seriously. If you don't believe me, go to Dixons and look. The first, rubber keyboard, Spectrum amazed people in the early 1980s with its ability to make annoying bleepy sounds which even now Nokia have been unable to improve upon. Later versions were even more impressive, being essentially the same but with a tape recorder and later a disk drive bolted onto the side. The new version, known as the Amstrad Emailer (the Sinclair and Spectrum trademarks having been abandoned, presumably due to the fact that Sinclair products tended to break even earlier than Amstrad ones) also features a built-in phone and the ability to send and receive email. And now you can download your Spectrum games from the internet instead of having to use a dodgy tape-recorder. But the traditional Spectrum trademark novelty keyboard is still there - this time a tiny, plasticky pull-out mess on a string rather than a big spongy rubber job. Coming in at only half the price of a PS2 and with all the games being free to download, this new cutting-edge games console is destined to be a hit with the new generation of games players who never before had the chance to play such glitchy classics as Jet Set Willy and Monty Mole.

Web Wizards

I was going to say, I went to the web wizards exhibition at the Design Museum On the design side, it featured the work of two people very heavily - Josh Davis and Yugo Nakamura. Guess you could do a lot worse. These guys ARE wizards (note to self - learn how to use Flash). The bit of the exhibition that seemed the most popular with people, though, was the room filled with retro computer hardware, like 1978 Atari consoles (with the wood veneer) and ZX81s. There was lots of "I've frikkin' GOT one of these..."

I just read this on notsosoft and I found it very funny. Nearly peed myself laughing, in fact, which would have been strangely appropriate.

Wow, that's great!

In other news, I got an email from an old friend from primary school yesterday, who I haven't been in touch with for about 10 years. Turns out he found me via this site. Tricky, you may say, since it doesn't have my name on it anywhere (to avoid complications with work). But apparently there is a cached page on google which DOES have my name on it. Isn't the internet cool sometimes?

In trying to figure out how he had found my site, I did a link search on google and found another thing which reminded me how cool the internet can be. The html keyboard is linked on various sites, based in various countries - Sweden, Switzerland, the US - as a useful resource. Something that I made one day on my laptop because I thought it would be useful to ME is now being linked and used by other people who find it useful around the world. And I think that's great.

Righteous!

It works a treat. Let's try html - I was reading these today, and they were interesting

notsosoft
bradlands
jimformation

Test post via email

Just trying to get the hang of this...

"Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways. Have lots of long lie-ins. Wear sturdy socks, learn to grow out of medium underwear and, if you must lie about your age, do it in the other direction: tell people you're ninety-seven and they'll think you look f**king great. Try to catch a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it swimming away. Never eat food that comes in a bucket." obviously I don't know whether I can back him up wholly on this "If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting. Boo joggers. Don't work out, work in. Play the banjo. Sleep with somebody you like. Eat plenty of Liquorices Allsorts. Try to live in a place you like. Marry somebody you like. Try to do a job you like. Never turn down an opportunity to shout, 'F**k them all!' at the top of your voice. Avoid bigots of all descriptions. Let your own bed become to you what the Pole Star was to sailors of old...look forward to it. Don't wear tight underwear on aeroplanes. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares?...He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. Clean your teeth and keep the company of people who will tell you when there's spinach on them. Avoid people who say they know the answer. Keep the company of people who are trying to understand the question. Don't pat animals with sneaky eyes. If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11 a.m., start one. Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swearwords. If you write a book, be sure it has exactly seventy-six 'f**k's in it. Avoid giving LSD to guide dogs. Don't be talked into wearing a uniform. Salute nobody. Never run with scissors or other pointy objects. Campaign against blue Smarties. Above all, go to Glasgow at least once In your life and have a roll and square sliced sausage and a cup of tea. When you feel the tea coursing over your spice-singed tongue, you'll know what I mean when I say: 'It's good to be alive!'. "

It's been a long time... but the second cd is better

It's been a while since anyone posted so I though I'd do the honours and post a legal tit-bit on Intranet Sharing... "A recent RIAA press release reports that an anonymous tip made them aware that a computer firm in Arizona was allowing file sharing of MP3 on their internal intranet. The company settled out of court for a cool million dollars. Few things cause me such conflict as file sharing. Certainly, I can't afford to write books if they show up on the Internet for free download (and yes, that has happened). But I also know that it is pointless to try and stop sharing networks like Gnutella. If you kill one, another one just pops up in its place. However, what's interesting about this case is that it involves a company intranet. If they had played CDs over a loudspeaker, would that have been vigorously pursued? True, that probably constitutes commercial use but I doubt that has ever been enforced except in public places (for example, restaurants or night clubs). Another thing I found interesting is the RIAA's choice of companies to pursue. I can't imagine they don't know about all the university computers where file sharing is rampant. But it might be more difficult to extract a million dollars from a school, I suppose. Not to mention all the pro bono law students that could go to court. Don't get me wrong. I understand that copyright protection is necessary and that it must be enforced. However, in this networked age it is just as clear that something will have to be worked out to accommodate both sides. Decades of laws hasn't curbed drug and alcohol consumption, prostitution, or gambling. Why we think it should stop file sharing is beyond me." No doubt I've breached something or other by posting this here but V

Cutting edge car styling news

In my new self-appointed role as foxinternet's resident motoring correspondent, I thought people might be interested in this , the new BMW Z4. It's the opposite of the Alfa Brera in that (a) it's destined for production and (b) the styling sucks. Looks like the unfortunate lovechild of the Audi TT and the old "fish-style" BMW Z3. Good news for dodgy panel-beaters though - if they don't manage to get the panels straight after an accident nobody would notice the difference. It would appear that owners who are not content with the joyously pretty and original styling alone can enhance their motoring enjoyment by opting for a thrilling diesel-engined version.

The absolute business

Have just come across this - the Alfa Romeo Brera. I don't think it's destined for production which in my opinion is a criminal offence. By the way if you want to see the pictures you will have to brave the typically Italian web design!