Back to London after a good weekend away in Madrid visiting Sharky and Lucia. Great fun was had: tapas eaten, sangria quaffed, cigars puffed. They don’t half stay out late in Spain though. I never really got a satisfactory explanation as to why it was better to go out to eat at 10.30, bar–hop until 2.30 and then roll into a club at a time by which the combination of big dinner, a few beverages and the lateness of the hour has rendered you almost incapable of staying awake, let alone dancing. Cultural thing, innit. Of course, the Spanish (and Sharky) are used to it and handle it without problems. Still, a top, if knackering weekend.

A conversation about domain registrations with a mate who is an intellectual property lawyer led me to identify that vodaporn.com was available for registration. I jokingly suggested a new service whereby people could use those photophones to send in readers’ wives type pictures, which would then appear on the site. So I was interested to read this story about how a 3G operator plans to use their extra bandwidth to go in the other direction, providing Playboy content to people’s mobiles. Maybe there’s some mileage in this after all — could make it a combined internet / WAP site and approach from both ends, so to speak.

Why Becks shouldn’t go to South Africa, from the Times

“In the years when Wembley was still standing and regularly rented out for corporate shindigs, Ian Bishop, the former West Ham United and Manchester City midfield player, said that it was a source of professional embarrassment that he had never played beneath the Twin Towers. "Everybody gets to go there now," he said. "Half of my street has been. I was talking to my milkman the other day - he played there on Saturday. I'm a footballer and I'm the only one I know that hasn't."

Meeting Mandela is going the same way. In modern life, if you are famous and in possession of a passport and a grin, chances are you will one day be snapped shaking hands with the Nobel Peace Prize-winner. Since retiring from active politics in 1999, all Mandela does is meet people”.

Because I was worth it

Good work to David Beckham for sporting his ridiculous array of hairstyles. My advice to young men would be, enjoy your barnet while you can, for one day soon, it will all fall out. I regret to this day not getting those Snoop Dogg style French braids when I was at university. And now it is too late. Reminds me of the time when at Simmons & Simmons on a vacation scheme, I decided to go peroxide blond (as was the fashion at the time… er maybe not… I think that Gazza had just done it though). Then when I was on my way out of the door for the job interview part of the vac scheme, my supervisor asked, apparently in all seriousness, whether I was going to “do something about my hair” before the interview, because I should be aware that it was a conservative firm and he did not want me under any misapprehension that such things were acceptable. Like, what did he think I had in mind, popping into the gents and colouring it back with a felt pen? Banking lawyers for you, I guess. Immediately after the vac scheme, I went on holiday to the south of France with Grovesy and the blond thatch atop my swede led to accusations of me “looking like a fruit” — in fact, I think Grovesy may even have a picture which will settle the issue of whether or not I looked like a fruit once and for all.

A bit of good news. I just heard that the driver’s insurance company isn’t contesting liability in relation to my bike crash.

Rodents of Mass Destruction

First the rampaging badger, now this. I reckon all the talk of Weapons of Mass Destruction was a smokescreen - Saddam and Osama have actually been training legions of furry critters to terrorise the West. Keep your eyes peeled on public transport for any suspicious hamsters whose cheeks appear overly stuffed...

Body modification

I am in the process of having a dental implant for a missing tooth. It’s quite a heavy–duty procedure, involving a titanium pillar being implanted into the jawbone and purely for cosmetic reasons. Basically, I was talked into it by the dentist, having happily wandered about for the last 15 years looking like Chris Benoit without being especially traumatised by that. It makes me think about the difference between body modification better to resemble the “norm”, as opposed to body modification better to defy that norm. What’s the difference between having a titanium pillar hammered into your gum so that you can look more like the guy from the Colgate advert, versus having a titanium pillar through your tongue so you can look more like Marilyn Manson? Just society’s prejudices? What about another “unnecessary”, potentially dangerous surgical procedure: who would consider having LASIK eye treatment or a similar operation?

On the other hand, some people really are bloody clever.

Everyone’s so bloody clever these days.

"We don't need no stinkin' badgers"

Warning (especially for anyone walking home from the pub this evening): badgers are not the friendly critters that "The Wind in the Willows" might have you believe. They are vicious feckers.

A bit of a hiccup with the comments. In upgrading the comments system to the paid service (I thought I would give him his tenner; credit where credit is due), it seems to have deleted some of the comments. It should work better from now on though.

Went a bit silly over the weekend, in various ways, including a karaoke session on Saturday night into the early hours of the morning and the purchase of an I–mac and I–pod. The I–mac purchase was the result of a final wave of irritation at my old, slow PC when trying to get the initial purchase of the I–pod to work. Still, both items are damn cool. In other news, I found this picture

on the site of a Strasbourg tattoo shop.

Right, the goal for this Summer is to get out of the dirty city, into the countryside and up some mountains. Who’s up for it? Anyone fancy a crack at all the three peaks, Snowdon, Scarfell and Ben Nevis (three different weekends)?

News flash

Weapons inspectors found what they believed was a “mobile biological weapons laboratory” in the centre of Cambridge yesterday. Taking the form of a wheeled vehicle loaded with deadly toxins and equipment, the laboratory was known colloquially in the area as “the death van”. However, further investigation and testing today revealed that this vehicle was in fact intended to purvey kebabs to the drunk and näive. The closest thing to a weapon was a large knife used to slice the donners and stave off those who “want some” after a few too many.

I have been told by a number of people that the page has become very slow to load. It looks to me that this is the result of the inordinate amount of time it takes to query the Access database which contains the comments. To see if there is any improvement without the comments, I am trying an off–site comments system. Obvious downside is loss of control — the old ASP comments system resided on my WIN2K server and I could get into the database and also set up the appearance of the thing exactly as I wanted. nickyg is advocating moving the whole thing to a PHP–based system. Groan.

More bike news

I just found out that the driver involved in my accident is insured. This is extremely good news.

No new bike, just bike news

Another track day at Donnington yesterday with the Ninja boys. For obvious reasons, I had to hire a bike — a Yamaha R6 from a company called Lady Snoots. Top fun. The R6 was track prepped with the bars really low under the yoke, so a more aggressive riding position than I am used to. Think I got the hang of it though and even managed a bit of knee down action around Redgate (we did the national circuit rather than the G.P circuit so didn’t benefit from the knee down bonanza of the Melbourne hairpin). Got popped for speeding on the M11 on the way up (89), but let off with a warning (and substantial lecture — “do you know how fast you were going, going racing are we? er, yes actually” — fortunately I didn’t say that, or I imagine that a book would have been coming in my direction shortly thereafter). But obviously not A Cs AB.

I celebrated the successful day without a crash or a nick with an unexpected but very nice Romeo e Julietta corona courtesy of a mate who also did the track day. Not my absolute favourite brand, but this one smoked beautifully, with a flavour on the light side, which was most agreeable after a tiring day.

Pseuds Corner: - satori or endorphin rush?

Sometimes I love this kind of sunshine and showers weather. It really says England to me. Californians, keep your 365 day sunshine. Out for a run last night along the Embankment — set off in sunshine, then gathering clouds, wind picking up. Past the Houses of Parliament and over Westminster Bridge as the clouds burst and people scurried for cover. Running back past the Millennium Wheel, revelling in the soaking, picking up the pace, cooled by the rain. I felt a great tranquillity as the cares of the last few weeks and the stress of a hard working day dropped off me. A fatalistic calm settled over me as I watched the rain and clouds across the Thames from the South Bank Centre. Then as I came past the Globe Theatre, the rain eased and a magnificent double rainbow appeared, spanning the river in a full semi–circular arc. People along the river stopped to look as it shone brilliantly, almost unreally, off the City buildings on the North bank. Magic.