Some grainy video footage of the wheelie school day. The guy was only taping for 15 or 20 minutes out of a whole day, so there are only four wheelies of mine on this clip. The last one is the best; not the highest, but balanced and goes on for the longest; until I go off camera, stage left (or is it stage right; not sure whether you use the audience perspective or the other way).

Continuing the medical theme, you really couldn’t make this up… a man who goes to hospital with a hearing problem mishears when they read out the names and ends up having a vascectomy instead.

Funny one about medic slang. I can so imagine some of the clowns who did medicine at college coming out with some of this stuff. No offence to them, of course [via pete].

Where's ya wheelie bin?

Finally, some photos from the wheelie school I did last month. Movies to follow when I figure out how to work IMovie.

Jesus Jones still exists. However, doesn’t sound like any of them’ll be on MTV cribs anytime soon.

It must be entrapment season. Turns out the story behind this “arms dealer” they have just arrested in America is that a man (described in the Times as a basmati rice dealer; so we’re not exactly talking about Adnan Khashoggi here…) was sold a very high–tech anti–aircraft rocket by Russian government intelligence agents. He was then tracked across Europe by British and American government intelligence agents, until he finally reached America, where he sold the rocket to an FBI agent. Have the spooks finally found something so do post cold war?

Anyone got any views on police entrapment? Just thought about this after reading about the Luke Sadowski conviction. Is it right that the police set up a fake paedophile website, arrange meetings with fake young girls and then nick the paedophiles?

Is it the fact that this crime is so abhorrent that makes us happy to accept entrapment in this case, whereas we would be more reluctant if it was, say, an unmarked policecar enticing drivers to go fast?

<cheapshot> Another thing I found interesting about the Sadowski case was the comment made by the police regarding the fact that articles including handcuffs and a police baton were found at Sadowski’s house. Detective Chief Inspector Matthew Sarti, of the Metropolitan Police’s Paedophile Unit (SCD5), said: “the contents of Sadowski’s safe show what can only be described as sadistic implements of restraint”. Quite. </cheapshot>

Of course I am in no way condoning what Sadowski was attempting to do. But paedophilia is a crime which generates more mass hysteria and lynch–mob mentality than most so I just think we need to be extra careful when dealing with it. Implements of restraint are only sadistic if you use them sadistically. Is entrapment ever OK? If so, when? Only for the most heinous crimes? What does anyone think?

This is a good story about a pilot who fixed his own plane and then invited the passengers to give a show of hands to indicate whether they were happy to fly with him. Most of them did.

Online test things are often a load of cobblers, but this one that is supposed to show where you stand on the political compass seems pretty interesting.

I should add that the new bike behaved impeccably; although this was after taking it back to the shop last week to rectify an alarm fault that was killing the engine at 10-11 thousand revs, and stopping off on the way up to Rockingham on Friday arvo to have a new, made to measure spring fitted onto the rear suspension. The original was waaaay to hard for a relatively light fella like myself. (Suspension expert Ralph at SBT in Sandy, Bedfordshire did the work; I would recommend SBT for any suspension needs). Only had one proper 'moment' on track; lost the back end by getting on the gas too hard/early when I was still cranked over coming out of a bend, but rolled off the throttle and it snapped back into line... fortunately... binning the bike would have been an absolute bugger.

CSBS Level 1

Spent today on track at Rockingham in Northants doing the California Superbike School, Level 1. The weather was scorchingly hot, after a very misty start. Top day. Obviously carefully thought out and very well organised, with 5 classroom sessions for each level to talk about different skills, followed in each case by a 20 minute outing onto the track to put the classroom theory into practice. My instructor seemed like a nice bloke, and I reckon I learnt a thing or two. Here are a few pictures:

I thought getting home would be a nightmare, but I remembered the way alright without a map and the A14 and then the A1 were very quiet and I made extremely quick time. I would definitely consider doing a Rockingham trackday in the future; not a bad circuit.

The world is filled with pimps and hos

Another thing: does anyone else find it slightly odd that Asda are using pimp culture to sell their “George” range of children’s school uniforms? The kids are shown having fun in said uniforms, while lip–synching to the sound track, which goes “(gruff pimp voice) who’s the daddy? (sweet girlie voice) you are, baby”. Is this appropriate? Or has someone missed the obviously pimp connotations, in the way that just about all nice girls will happily sing and dance along to “a little bit of Monica, etc” without seeming to realise that this guy is a mack. Or maybe they do realise and they aren’t actually nice girls at all… Fine. But with ten year–old kids, it’s starting to get a bit dodgy, isn’t it?

So we had a team building thing last night, during which we were shown clips from the Matrix (“Do you believe that my being stronger, or faster, has anything to do with my muscles, in this place?”, etc), invited to break boards with karate chops, given lessons in juggling and tight rope walking (the latter is very tricky). Wacky stuff. I thought all this sort of thing went out in the 80s? Still, I feel suitably energised for another year’s work… or maybe I should quit and get a job organising team building evenings; sounds like a fun job.

Rise of the machines

Another thing that has got my goat slightly while watching television lately is the pundits crapping on about the loss of billions of pounds to the economy due to decreased productivity and skivving caused by the hot weather. “Managers need to find a way of dealing with the negative impact of hot weather on the workforce” — give me a break. Stuff like this depresses the tits off me; like those adverts for cold remedies that imply that if you don’t struggle in when you’re practically at death’s door, your boss will hate you and you’ll end up as a vagrant. When did progress turn into this? I thought that by the year 2003, machines were supposed to be doing all our work. Instead, machines are merely creating CO2, which makes the place get hotter, which gives our managers concerns about how to continue to screw 9 to 5 out of us despite the fact that we’re sweating bullets and thinking about cold lager. Bloody machines.

Query also exactly who loses the billions of pounds. Yesterday was the hottest day of the year so far and I don’t notice any billions of pounds missing from my bank account.

and as day follows night

… whenever we get one hot day, people will crap on about global warming.

Speaking of slang, I was amused to hear “Jilted John” on TOTP2 while off work sick yesterday:

““Who’s this bloke”? I asked her, “Go–o–or–don” she replied; “Not that puff” I said dismayed, “yes, but he’s no puff” she cried”.

You bunch of puffs…

Sure as night follows day...

…there will be an annual piece on the news about the new slang the kids are using. Some embarrassing linguistics expert and an even more embarrassing journalist from Just 17 magazine or similar will come on and explain to the presenters some silly new phrases that some 10 year–old used on a playground once, 18 months ago. The presenters will take this opportunity to come on like High Court judges and profess complete incomprehension. The presenters will then make embarrassing attempts to use slang in the ensuing discussion. The slang they use will sound extremely outdated and cringe–worthy.

"how about a nice game of chess"

a new take on the DEFCON system
the current terror alert level is set at...