Newness Dance

The performer/choreographer’s description of the thought behind the last Newness Dance work.

Do what you do, do it well, win awards

Chuckled at an amusing customer satisfaction questionnaire at Holmes Place at the weekend. It was one where you have to tick a box on the strongly agree↔strongly disagree spectrum. The question in question was “would you describe our service as ‘award–winning’?”. Well, since I am not aware that your service has won any awards (nor, indeed, what awards might have been available to be won — are there gym ‘Oscars’?) I would have to say that I would be extremely unlikely to describe your service as “award–winning”. Of course, in the PR flack’s lexicon:

award–winning (adj.) — good, of a high standard, non–heinous.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t a question dealing with whether or not ‘chill–out’ music was the appropriate aural accompaniment in an environment that is supposed to be about pushing yourself and getting fit (I was busy trying to run 10k on the treadmill at 10mph, something which I had never previously managed to do — so a fast techno build–up, culminating with the Theme from Rocky might have been more encouraging). Then again, the environment on a Saturday morning is probably supposed to be more about having an aromatherapy massage and a wheatgrass, so maybe the music was spot on.

Goal orientated

My girlfriend recently reminisced about how, shortly after we met, she had asked me to list my top ten goals. She reminded me that I had dodged the question at the time and had never answered it subsequently. In all seriousness, I said I did not recall having been asked, but made the point that it was obviously a very hard question to answer off the top of one’s head. I mean, how could you compare Lee Martin’s critical 1990 FA cup final replay goal against Crystal Palace with Ryan Giggs’s fantastic FA Cup semi–final replay strike against Arsenal in the 98/99 campaign? Or David Beckham chipping the Wimbledon keeper from the half–way line in 96/97? Solskjaer against Bayern Munich in 99? And that’s without even getting started on the brilliant Eric Cantona or my childhood hero, Mark Hughes. Also, I mentioned that I was surprised to see an American female taking such an interest in football as part of the process of finding out what makes someone tick. How I laughed when she explained that by “top ten goals” she had been referring to my own personal life aspirations. An equally difficult question, mind you.

(Before anyone mentions it, yes, we’ll just have to beat them at the San Siro, alright).

Sick

I know it’s highly unsympathetic of me, but I feel a real irritation towards martyrs who come into work and cough and sniff and splutter all over the place and risk giving me their filthy colds. If you’re half as bad as you sound, stay at home until you’re better. You’re not that important. The company won’t go bust and the economy won’t collapse. I blame that stupid Lemsip advert.

Training

I did the Runners’ World 10k race at Sandown racecourse on Sunday, in freezing, windy conditions. The idea was to get some race practice and assess fitness level in advance of the half–marathon on 6 March 2005. The course was three laps, partly on tarmac, partly on muddy grass, with an uphill section at the back of the lap.

I came 44th, with an official time of 41:48, with which I was extremely disappointed, since I had been hoping to get under 40 minutes, as an indication that a half–marathon in under 90 minutes might be possible. I was on target for a sub–40 finish at the 9k marker, but lost it in the final kilometre. My time was particularly disappointing, because it was only 15 or so seconds quicker than my time for the Nike 10k, which I did at what felt like a relatively comfortable pace last year, before I had started the half–marathon training. For the Sandown race, I was pushing much harder on the day and was coming in off the back of six weeks hard training.

It appears that there is now some controversy about the distance measurement for the last kilometre. Maybe there’s something in it. Unless I dramatically misjudged my pacing, my own split times suggest that the last “kilometre” was nearer a mile. But we’ll never know. All in all, maybe a bit of a set–back, maybe a plausible excuse, but all I can do is move on and do as much as I can in the final two weeks of hard training to get back on target.

Update: Turns out the guy who won it also has a website. At least I can take some solace from the fact that he found it hard also, even though he did beat me by nearly six minutes! (at least that’s less than a minute a mile!)

This is good — why the Dilbert cartoon pointy–haired boss is a mathematical certainty.

Law in the Simpsons. Lionel Hutz rocks.

Newborn

“Mr Blunkett has said that he is the father of the baby but he will have to wait until DNA tests are carried out to prove parentage. This could happen as early as the weekend”.

Bonus link.

Training

Five and a half weeks into my ten week, six days a week half–marathon training programme, I must confess that I am now sick to the back teeth of running. But I must keep up the training. Must run under 90 minutes on March 6, 2005. Then I feel I could legitimately rest on my laurels for a bit.

Carl Weathers Dilemma

I have just found out that tonight BBC1 is showing Rocky III and ITV is showing Predator. Simultaneously. What's a Carl Weathers fan to do?

Get well soon

Concerned though I was to hear of his Holiness’s indisposition, I was amused at the inability of various television presenters to resist using the expression “the ailing pontiff” to describe the Pope today. Pity he didn’t visit Harrods as well — then they could have dusted off “well–known emporium” too.

Dash it all

These comments on the Eamon single and the changing attitudes towards ‘rude’ words over the years cracked me up.